Here I Stand....

"Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard..." Sarah McLachlan, I Will Remember You

....will you join me?

I started this blog a few years ago when I was on the threshold of menopause. Now that I've passed through that particular gate, I found two more awaiting me... one called "Divorce" and the other "Breast Cancer." This is my journey through both.

I appreciate the company of friends.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Senior Moments

I didn't understand what a "senior moment" was until I had one myself. 

It was terrifying, in a weird sort of way because I knew exactly what was going on and what I wanted to remember; I simply couldn't summon the information out of Data Central.  It happened one morning between feeding the dogs and emptying the dishwasher, when it suddenly occured to me I couldn't remember who wrote Madame Bovary. 

Oh, you may say, what's the big deal?  After all, most people probably forget who wrote Madame Bovary as soon as they toss the book into the used book pile for donation to the library sale.  But I know stuff like that.  I remember stuff like that. Flaubert was said to have spent afternoons pondering the placement of a comma, which always makes me feel better whenever I'm stuck in the upteenth revision of whatever it is I'm working on. 

And the worst part was... I couldn't jog it out of my memory, either.  The dogs finished their breakfast and looked up at me, ready to go out.  I put down my dish towel, and where my mind used to be was a big black blank.  I stared at the dogs, racking my mind.  I know this, I said to myself over and over.  I know it. 

I would swear to you I heard my dog Buddy say - in my mind's ear of course - It begins with an F - but if I told you that, you'd think I wasn't only forgetful, but crazy as well.  At any rate, painful letter by painful letter, I dragged the name F-L-A-U-B-E-R-T out of my muddy mind and have resolved never to miss a game of Jeopardy, if I can remember to watch it, of course, again. 


  1. I'm only 36 and have been having senior moments like this for the last 2 or 3 years. I've chalked it up to mom brain though. I wonder what my brain will be like when I'm actually in menopause. I guess all the weed I smoked in my twenties really did affect me ; )

  2. haha ... im still smoking weed and it doesn't seem to make a difference :)

  3. Yeah … menopause moments … they can be … something. Can't remember what, exactly, but for now "something" works just fine for me. :)


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